Cause To Sell-ebrate?
	There was a silver lining to Liverpool's exit from the Champions League last night. Well, not so much a silver lining as a cheap aluminium foil lining. In getting knocked out of Europe's premier club competition, they earned entry into Europe's third most illustrious club competition. Third most illustrious club competition? Yes, because the annual and entirely fictional Champions League Pub Quiz would probably be held in higher regard than the Europa League. It did give their chances of actually winning something this season a big boost. They never looked likely to go very far in this year's competition. To be honest, they never looked likely to go very far in those years when they did go very far in the competition, but without the sheer jamminess, they were doomed to an early exit. The Europa League at least gives Rafa the chance to win something that he can show off to other European clubs when he eventually gets the boot. Mind you, so would texting in to that competition with the brilliant looking prizes they advertise on the X Factor each week. Oh of course there's the FA Cup, but that's about as desirable and as relevant as smallpox these days. So with a big windfall of cash em ... not going to fall on them, it's time for Liverpool to put on a short skirt, their best push up bra and start hinting they can suck a Carling Cup through a hosepipe because they need to find themselves a sugardaddy – preferably one lopsided towards the former on the Money versus Sense equation. Jacob Marley and Ebenezeer Scrooge in the boardroom don't look keen to part with the cash needed to get the club moving and after one Andrea Dossena too many, that's understandable. Liverpool need to do something soon or else all those small steps forward will become one giant step back. And if I really wanted to feel like I did in the early 90s, I could get a ‘hollywood' and pray for my pubes to grow.	'Only a bit of Groovy Kind Of Love could cheer me up now.'
	The 'Christ, I'm So Sick Of Hearing About Liverpool' Football Bit
	There's good news all round in Portsmouth, except that is if you're Paul Hart. Apparently Avram Grant is being lined up as the replacement which will give Pompey a decent chance of survival with the added bonus of a brand of football so boring, the guy who constantly rings that bloody bell might fall asleep. .
	Aiden McGeady admits that watching him beat the same defender five times before whacking the ball of his shins to earn a corner or throw in isn't exactly going to be packing them in to Celtic Park.
	Luca Toni – the most over-rated thing since Gavin And Stacey– has been suspended by Bayern Munich for not toeing the party line. You're lucky you're not doing it 70 years ago because back then the Germans took a much harsher view of that sort of thing. It's a little unfair on Toni to compare him to a sitcom - at least he was good for a couple of seasons. .
	Just to show no bias towards either half of the Old Firm, Lee McCulloch gives out to team-mate, Madjid Bougherra for coming back late from international duty. "If it is the third time that it has happened, and I honestly don't know if it is, then it's not good enough," he said. He couldn't possibly be trying to divert the blame after Rangers lost at home in the Champions League – the third time that it has happened this season
	The Other Sports Crapolla
	With competitors regularly dying and more importantly locals mowed down by rally cars, the Dakar rally is arguably the most pointless endeavour in sport. More pointless than asking Bacary Sagna for a decent cross. It's the only slightly more credible version of the Gumball Rally. Anyway, next year's Dakar Rally will go ahead once more with the notable omission of Dakar and the people of South America will need to be on the lookout for rich morons speeding through their villages.
	This lot make Ryanair look flamboyant luxury.
	Apparently Shane Warne is involved with a group that fall woefully short of their expected results. It's like the 2005 Ashes all over again. Arf! Arf!