Last night he suffered an agony it will take literally minutes to get over as his beloved LA Galaxy lost out on penalties in the Major League Soccer's World Series Super Bowl Cup of the Universe Because America Is The Centre Of All Creation or the MLS Cup to give it it's abridged title.
It's American soccer so obviously only insomniacs and the depressed were awake to watch it, but it sounds exciting. So exciting I very nearly read a match report. Apparently Beckham didn't balloon his penalty over the bar this time, which was nice. Rumours suggest that it was Goldenballs' last game for the Galaxy as he says ‘thanks for the $200 odd million, I'm going to the World Cup and I probably won't be back.'
So what does the future hold? Well probably lots of sleepless nights for Posh Spice as Beckham teams up with Silvio Berlusconi in Milan. His 'Look at me Fabio, aren't I great for going out on loan to stay fit when I could be relaxing by the pool in Hollywood' act will probably be enough to earn him a place in England's World Cup squad, but after England reach the final and he dramatically headbutts Thierry Henry (I can only dream) in the face, what's going to happen? Oh he might carry on in an attempt to surpass Peter Shilton's caps record for England, but that's only going to interest simpletons who associate the accumulation of caps with a claim that he's England's best ever player and not the offshoot off a congested international calendar and a lack of quality wide players for much of the last two decades.
Was that really a story? At the end of the day what exactly is news? None of the questions answered same time (maybe), same place tomorrow.
John or Edward. I'm never sure which one is which.
Almost? You did give up international football on Wednesday night. It was 102 minutes in to the match when you took up international volleyball. Smarmy shitebag.
What's that sound? Oh, it's me and I'm about to piss all over the idea that what Scotland did against Australia on Saturday night was heroic. If you didn't watch, Australia hammered the Scots for the evening, should have been miles in front and Matt Giteau missed a straightforward conversation at the very end that would have turned Scotland from the living embodiment of William Wallace to a bigger disappointment than Franz Ferdinand's third album. They're getting praise for they're "heroic defence" or as I like to call it, "what you're expected to do."
In more knee-jerk reactions, Martin Johnson is getting slated because a not very good bunch of England players didn't to all that badly against a very good bunch of All Blacks. Ireland proved little other than they're fitter than the Fiji players by struggling for 60 minutes before cutting lose. And Wales are now officially better than England and Argentina because they beat Argentina and in the process leap-frog the Sweet Chariot on the official IRB list of teams that are good and that.